by Justin Nobel

Nikki Sian-Leigh Aksamit lost her unborn child after a car crash and struggled how to tell her kids what had happened. Her book, "Mommy, what is dead" explains death to pre-schoolers. (Image courtesy of Nikki Sian-Leigh Aksamit)
One day, a car raced through a yellow light and slammed into Nikki Sian-Leigh Aksamit's vehicle. She was a mother of two and six weeks pregnant. The trauma of the accident eventually killed her unborn child. Her two boys wanted to know what had happened to the baby and Nikki struggled for a way to tell them. Finding no children's book fit for the task, she wrote her own, “Mommy, what is dead?” Digital Dying recently spoke with Nikki on how to talk to children about death.
How did you tell your kids that your unborn child had died?
Rook, my four year-old, knew right away. “Mom, what's wrong?” he asked. I said, “The baby died.” He said, “What do you mean it died. Why did it have to die?” I said, “The accident caused mommy to lose the baby.” He was just so full of questions. I was at a loss for words. My husband and I answered him the best we could, but I don't think he got it. Two weeks later, I wrote out questions and what I wanted the pictures to be with a magic marker and construction paper. It probably took a good month and half to finish the book. Then I read it to him. It was just my scribbles, a way to purge myself, but he got it right away. Read the rest of this entry »





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